grimsby..

so fuck you to whoever doubted me..
fuck who didn't believe in me..
fuck who thought i wouldn't go through with it..
fuck who said i was crazy to do this..
and fuck who ever thought i'd never get out of grimsby.

look at me now bitches. i'm out, and i love it.
finally moved, finally start my job, finally i can start over,
without bullshit, without shitty friends, and without drama.

i'm beyond excited. so fuck you.

let me stand next to your fire.

I start working on tuesday, this is big guys..

this means i'm actually moving, this means i'm starting my life.

this means i'm going to have to pay rent, buy food, save my money, work a typical 9-5 job.

i'm going to be one of the million people getting on the 7:30 subway to make it to work on time because of all the traffic.

i'm going to be a ratio.

i'm going to be living by myself til october 1st.

i hope i don't flip out, i hope i'm not homesick.

i hope my friends come see me, and visit, and are able to grasp i can't party on weeknights anymore.

i'm going to have to find something to do with my 'spare' time.

maybe i'll start a new hobby. that doesn't require you to pay, because as we all know... i'll have no extra money.

god damn. i'm going to need to stop myself from so many things.

i hope i can do it.

i need alot more motivation than i have now.

i wish my friends were more helpful...

9 days is going to seem like eternity..

I got the job !

I'm overly excited about the next few days !

Watching Atonement is making me realize love never dies.

I think the real, true reason i'm moving, is because i want to start over.

Start over fresh, without anyone in my mind and no one in my heart.

It's going to be so hard, and i'm going to hate it and i'm going to miss him.

But i can't keep doing this to myself.

Change makes you better, and i'm so ready for it.

Tell me i can't, and i will prove you wrong.

Tell me i'm crazy and i will agree.

I'm so ready to move, so ready for my new life.

okay honestly...

girls in this god damned town are too fucking ridiculous.

take a look around you. there's nothing and no body. if you don't get out and realize there's an entire world waiting for you, you're going to be stuck here, forever.

you cry about the most ridiculous things, i mean, there are other things to be worried about.

i'm beyond excited to leave and meet some real people and create real friendships, friendships not based on looks or money. i'm so sick of everyone being so immature and fucked up.

if anyone moved from a big city, to our small town, they'd be disgusted at the amount of drama we, ourselves create.

it's dog-eat-dog in this town, and i'm so fucking excited to get away from it.

sure i'll miss some people, sure i'll miss my family and friends.

but i sure as hell, won't miss the amount of drama in this town.

i hate the amount of immaturity here. there's so many other things we as teenagers could be doing.

people rely on the smallest of things here, everyone is all talk.

all talk and no doing. if you say your going to get out, get out now. do it while you still can, while your parents still think your a silly teenager who doesn't know what you want with life.

i wish i did, i wish i got out when i was 18 and didn't know what i wanted.

i still don't, i'm 20, but at least now i can figure things out for myself, lead my own life, have my own responsibilities.

theres going to be no one telling me what i can and cannot do.

theres nothing in this town for me, and i'm so fucking glad i'm leaving.

lets get cute.

I'm officially tattooed.

It really hurt. like, soo bad.

I'm moving on september 15th, and am actually so scared and nervous.

I got a call from one of the insurance companys today, my interview's on monday :)

Hopefully things work out. It'd be such a sweet, sweet job.

Blink's on sunday, i'm way to pumped.

So many good things happening :)

im learning to breathe again on my own.

I'd really like October to come now.

Kerri and I are moving in October 1st.

Which means i have about 2 and a half months to find a job and save money.

I'm looking in Toronto, absolutely everywhere. I just want to get some luck one day and get it.

I love when parents say i can't.

It makes me say I will and prove you wrong.

=)

Well, my tattoo is booked, august 20th.

I'm getting a breast cancer ribbon for my mom, it'll probably be on the back of my neck.

Dayn's getting one also, on the back of his calf.

She started chemo today, I was really upset this morning.

But i have to look at it in a positive way and look at it as the cancer will never come back.

Moving by september :) i'm really excited to start life with one of my best friends.