depression out.

I basically have THE best friends on the face of this planet.

Tonight went from being so shitty (see below) to being so so good.

Thanks to a few of my bests, good talks, and wickid laughs. 

This is going to be an awesome summer.

depression sets in

Well, this is when depression sets in,

my friends all now have theyre lisences, meaning they don't need me anymore as a friend/taxi/buyer of smokes/booze, whatever.

I just feel so secluded and torn and washed out.

Hopefully with this job, i'll get some money under my belt and hopefully be able to move, i mean why should i be in grimsby ? there's nothing for me, no one for me. 

My 'friends' don't need me, don't really care about me anymore. Honestly, they all have cars now, they can get places on there own. 

I just want to cry. or move, moving would be cool.

I just need to get out of this boring town, move somewhere and start something new. 

I want to be 18 again, have him to hangout with, be able to have someone tell me i'm worth it, worth sticking around for.

That's another thing, I like helping people out, i really like knowing i'm doing something good for someone. I hate to see people depressed. I like making people happy, seeing people smile because of something i did or helped out with. 

Fuck, depression hurts.

I want things to be how they used too. 

I want you to come home and for you to be safe.

I want you to realise you have a life here, someone to fall back on.

Dad's 50th was good, I got pretty drunk. 

Interview went well, They haven't called yet, I'm pretty upset about it. 

Oh well.

yay !

Well, Interview at American Eagle on sunday at 9:30 am.

Very excited. Hopefully this works out. 

I'm excited for this weekend, Tyler's coming down, and all my friends are going to be there.

Dad's 50th should be one for the books. 

Oh; All my hair is gone. well, not really, just 4 and a half inches. 

It's pretty short, i'm still getting used to it. 

Yay.

my first paycheque...

..If and when i get a job, god damnit.

this recession has got to go. i mean really...

if i want to make this summer as memorable as the past 2 have been, i really, really need to get a job.

and even with a job, how am i supposed to have fun living in this shithole town.

come on here...i've been working my ass off trying to find work to do. and nothing.

it's all bullshit.

but what i am stoked on isssss,

blink in august (YESYESYES)

some scenefest, toronto trips, wonderland trips and friends.

dad's 50th this saturday, should be a wonderful and fun-filled day/night.

hoping and wishing....  :)

i miss recess.

Last night was really fun. 

Met up with tyler and got pizza, way too much pizza though.

We watched 3 movies i haven't seen,  Where the buffalo roam; the sequel to fear and loathing in las vegas, it was good but can't compare to the actual one.

The Royal Tenenbaums was hilarious and it'd be hilarious if my life was like that.

The Big lebowski was just awesome. 

It was such a fun night, just hanging out, cuddlin, laughing.

His entire wall unit fell out of the wall, causing the clothes to like, shoot out of it, and now it's a mountain of clothes, ontop of another mountain.

Poor guy. Glad i went to hangout, i really needed it.

of course.

Of course i fuck things up, again. 

I need to get the fuck out of this town, away from stupid drama, and fucked up people.

Way too many things are holding me back, Why can't things be different

I wish i could go back, and change what i did and didn't do, change people that influenced my life, change for the better.

I give and give and get nothing in return.

I hate crying fits, thinking too much, and fucking up.